BoHeMiAnZ FrEaKz dOt cOm

~Friendship~

2011-04-20T16:17:00.004+08:00

To meet to know, and then part...
Is the saddest tale of the human heart...
Eventhough we are far apart...
I'll always remember our friendship in my heart...
Where ever you may be...
I'll always remmber thee...

Friendship is the only cement...
That can hold the world together...

It's sad to see that as time passess by, all of ur close friends, gangs, team members, study group, 'lepak' group, 'gila-gila' group etc starts to go their own ways... Some are nowhere to be found... some just can't be contacted... some have started their own families... some are way too busy to even talk or sms... some are going places... some are already all over the world... it's just sad that all these people don't even bother to keep in touch anymore...

Last saturday, i've had the opportunity to spend some time with our dearest Gamelan trainer. He too was telling me how frustrated he is with the rest of his students (or shall I say ex-students) who don't even have the courtesy to even say hi or ask how he was doing. Well, dah nama pun students kan, sepatutnya hargailah ilmu yg dah dapat from chekgu tu by showing that u still care kan. But no... these people couldn't even care less...

Then again, that's not what I want to write about. Yes I am sad that everyone had chosen their own paths. But what to do. They do not see the importance of having to 'care' for your relationships with your friends. They have yet to realize the importance of keeping in touch with you friends even after u've graduated, worked or even have a family.

True, time spent with friends will be lesser, but that doesn't mean that u should just throw ur friends aside... Friends come and go. And lately... all I see that many of mine are all going... well some do try to keep in touch... I appreciate that. But some ...i guess they just don't care about what their friends must have been feeling.

I don't cope well with goodbyes... and the past 1 year, all I've been seeing is people saying goodbye. And now, one more is also saying goodbye... this dear friend of mine (although this friend has caused so many heartaches and is just unbearable at times...this friend is still a dear friend)...

Dear friend... u've been a lot of help... u've been one of the person i'd turn to for advice... for guidance... not having you around will definitely be a lost for me... I'm soooooooo not good with words. How am I supposed to say that u've made an impact in my life by being my friend. That i will miss you dearly. How do I say all that without people around us thinking of 'something' else. How am I supposed to say all that and emphasize that it's all brotherly sisterly love....

I don't know whether i'll be able to tell you all these before you go. Dear friend, u've been an asset in my life. I appreciate u being my friend.

Thank you for everything...

I Don't Handle Goodbyes Well....

2011-04-12T12:57:00.004+08:00

For a while now I haven't had the opportunity to write in my blog...

One thing that I've found out from this is that, whenever I am happy with my surroundings (be it work friends, family, social life etc), I don't write... But whenever I am sad, disturbed or feeling down... And I feel as if, I don't have anyone to talk to... I would always come back to this blog to write...

Many things had happened... in this last couple of months...
- I've got a new job that I like...
- My application to change from MBA to MMgt has been accepted...
- I've finally moved to a better apt...
- One of my best sister is back in KL
- I've been offered for a better career advancement...
- etc...

That all I can handle well (mostly)... But I never do well with parting...
I can never say goodbye to people that I've known... be friends with... had fun with... trusted... loved... etc

Sometimes... I feel so tired of keeping my feelings, hiding my tears... being composed all the times...
Sometimes... I want people to know, I am not that weak, but nevertheless I am human... I cry too...
Sometimes... I just don't want people to always assume that I am strong...
Sometimes... I need a shoulder to cry on too...

A while ago... we've all lost a very dear friend... Allahyarham Rudi Yanto Abdullah... I am not as close to him as others might be... But the image of his face is still stuck in my head... Not the image of him looking sick... But the happy-go-lucky him... The cheerful him... The funny him...

I don't handle goodbyes well... I am always afraid of losing those who are dear to me...
Although he wasn't a very2 close friend... nevertheless, his departing had affected me a great deal...
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... And I thank him for that...
I thank him dearly for making me reflect back on life...

Abg Rudi, may Allah bless you. You had been a very strong source of inspiration and guidance. A lot have u achieved in a short span of time on earth. You have left a great memory behind. You proved to be a worthy khalifah of Allah. I shall remember you dearly.

Thank You for everything.

Ya Allah, Engkau rahmatilah sahabatku ini, abgku ini, saudaraku ini...Al-Fatihah

I AM N0T LIBERAL!!!

2010-12-01T18:01:00.003+08:00

Adakah aku yang pelik?

Adakah aku yang salah??

Adakah aku yang tak sporting???

Adakah aku yang narrow-minded????

Adakah aku perlu menjadi lebih liberal?????

NO WAY!!! I AM NOT GOING TO BE LIBERAL!!!

Mende yang salah tetap salah...kan?

U can't expect me to acknowledge something wrong as right....

It's definitely wrong when you see guys dancing on stage in swimsuit-moulin rouge-kinda dress up, with boobs and without balls!!!

It's definitely wrong!!!

Aku pun takde la alim...tapi what has become of the world when you can openly talk about ur sins, what u've done wrong to public?? Cakap depan2 org sambil gelak2...a'ah aku mmg tak solat...what the heck!!!

Where's ur sense of shame and guilt??

It's definitely wrong!!!!

Not trying to be a hypocrite my ass!!!

Pissed??!!! No...i am not pissed....
I just dont know how to react to this...

THINK...

2010-11-18T14:15:00.002+08:00

I had always been a person who likes to get inspired.
I like listening to real life stories of people who exceeds the ordinary.
And all this while, I have to thank these two people.
I have two lovely mentors whom I look highly after...

I had two mentors actually...

One of them, the longest one I've been with past away of lung cancer just recently.
I didn't even get to see her when she was in the hospital.
She was like a mother to me.
I really miss her.

My other mentor is the person I'd go to for advice on life.
She's the perfect person to go to when I feel that I needed a scolding.
She cares for me a lot...

Both my mentors are expert in their very own ways.
But I miss my 1st mentor bcoz she is able to 'read' me and my actions before I am able to even understand them.
My 2nd mentor is also able to 'read' people, but not in the same way...

For a while now, I've been dreading not having a person who is able to 'read' me...
To know who I am, how I am...
I miss having somebody understanding me when I say the least...
Though it is scary having a person knowing u inside out with just one look...
But it makes u think...
It makes u analyze urself...
Look back at yourself...

Now,
When I least expect it...
I found someone...
I thought he was scary since he was my trainer at work...
But somehow,
slowly...i see that he is able to 'read' most of us in class...

And one day, I gather all my courage and ask...
Sir, can you read people...
and he answered...yes...
And then we had a long talk...

He reminded me of my 1st mentor...
Whom I miss so much...
He talked of things that I would never have talked about to anyone...
He guided me...
He gave me advice...

Finally...somebody who makes me think...
Somebody who makes me analyze and muhasabah myself...
Someone who cares enough to tell me what I'm doing is wrong...

I missed that...
I hope he will always be around...
As a mentor...trainer and most importantly as a friend.

TRIP to KUALA TERENGGANU for WORLD GAMELAN FEST

2010-07-19T15:29:00.002+08:00

YEY!!! SONOKNYA!!! DPT GAK KLUAR FROM KL NIH!!! HAHAHAHAHA

SO....GAMELAN WORLD FESTIVAL......I'M COMING!!!!

Date : 23 - 25hb Julai 2010
Show : 24hb (5.30-6.30pm, 9-11.30pm)
Accomodation : Teratai Homestay, Kg Kolam (20min from k.Tgnu)

Tentative:

23hb Julai 2010
Bertolak from KL - 2 atau 3pm

Sampai - 9 atau 10pm check-in ke homestay...

24hb Julai 2010
9am - 1pm : Istana Maziah > Bukit Puteri > Central Market > Pasar Besar Payang > LA Hot Spring (semua around the same vicinity....senang sket)

1 - 3pm : Lunch...balik homestay...solat...siap2...

3 - 5pm : Terengganu Museum Complex (Main Museum, a Maritime Museum, a Fisheries Museum, 4 traditional houses and botanic and herbs gardens...bnyk tuh)

5 - 7pm : Show Gamelan di Dataran Shahbandar

7.00 - 8.30pm : Dinner/ Solat

9 - 11.30pm : Ke Dataran Shahbandar

25hb Julai 2010
9am - 12tghari : Masjid Tengku Tgh Zaharah > Pantai Batu Burok > Squid Fishing Season =P

12 - 2pm : Packing....balik...

2 - 3pm : Bertolak balik ke KL

Can't wait to go...hahahahahaha =D

Huh?? Betulkah??

2010-07-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

I came across this blog while surfing the web...the title was very BOLD and DARING...so I had to read it...
I have never given a thot to any of this...tapi bila dah terbaca....I started thinking...betulkah mende2 nih??? He said (the writer) that this is how to identify them...ye ke??

GAY IS THE WAY OF LIFE (writer nie giler ke hape)

Yang terang-terangan:
1.kalau berjalan -control macho even hakikat sebatu dah nampak kecatwalkannya
2.rambut kalau tak color..highligt
3.very da latest trend in everything and every way except politics & agama
4. Mulut mmg LAHA...*
5. Brand cautious
6. La QUeen rumah kedua (aku tak tau mende nie apa)
7. Blue Boy rumah alternative (nie pun tak tau gak)
8. kalau ada jantan malatop lalu, kepala pusing 360 darjah dan asyik dok melihat jantan tu tanpa jemu
9. minyak wangi kalau pakai mcm sebotol sehari
10. buckle tali pinggang D & G, Versace la, etc
11. Starbuck dan kedai2 minum sewaktu dengannya, tempat menunjukkan kemewahan even dalam wallet ngam2 nak bayar segelas minuman RM15. 95 (rumah ketiga) dan untuk memastikan duit worth every sen, lepak kat sana hampir 7-10 jam
12. Kasut semua depan tajam2 atau persegi
13. Pakai seluar mesit ketat nak tonjolkn bontot bubbly tu dan kebonjolan batang. setengah tu telur aja besar, batang, ibu jari aku lagi besar
14. handpone mesti ada camera, music function, latest brand dan kalau ada organizer, tak pernah lekang dari palm..ada aja dok menulis atas screen....tak ada life ker
15. suka seni dan hiburan - damn obvious (agak vague)
16. mata mcm2 color even kulit adik beradik kaum jakun
17. cincin kebanyakan pakai lebih dari satu
18. rapat dan comfortable dgn pompuan, kalau dgn jantan terutama yang melatop rasa resah dan berpeluh
19. pembersih, rumah kemas dan well groomed
20. rajin bekerja dan creative
21. dalam handphone contact list, 90% nama jantan... sapew nak jawab?
22. Sukan kegemaran bowling dan vollyball
23. pandai nyanyi dn menari serta kaki kareoke
24. kerja wajib, Sekretari, nurse dan PA, yang lain bersaing dgn pompuan demi atas nama keadilan.. hahahahahaa
25. pandai sembang2 dgn makcik2 dan good customer service.
26. suka warna2 kontrast dan terang
27. kalau jumpa gang, tetiba gedik, cakap nowk sana, nowk sini dan patah riuk betowl...kan da pecah lobang!!!!aduh....
28. Pose mesti tetap vogue
29. Center of attiention and always seek attention
30. OBVIOUSLY- penampilan memang ketara belainan dgn org lain, tak banyak pun, sikit mesti ada
31. kalau kes tak ada rambut, goatee kemestian...dan color brown lagi..hahahahaa..yang hairless..they make sure the face skin color same tone with the bald head color...ala warna kulit sekata menggunakan Garnier .
32. Pakai subang..arah betentangan dgn gay..saja nak kelirukan masyarakat..tapi ade jugak brani mati pkai blah kanan...masyarakat lagi keliru sebab apa jantan pakai subang..dah tu sebelah aja..sebelah lagi hilang ker? ngeee~
33. Favourite Tv program Prison break, desperate housewife, gilmore girls, Oprah winfrey show, mostly deoration related programs, etc, etc
34.sensitive dan kuat sentap...layak lar...
35. Artis luar negeri sah2 puja Michael Jackson,Barbra Streisand, beyonce ,mariah Carey,whitney Houston dan Celine Dion kalau tempatan sah sah Ning Baizura, CT Nurhaliza dan ziana zain....Anuar Zain, role model...

Yang tak terang-terangan:

1. karektor macho habis - hakikatnya manusia, ada at least 10 % ada sifat keperempuanan
2. suka sport2 car - tapi keta2 tu dihias dan didecorate ala2 casa impian...mcmana tu???
3. berkahwin - nak coverline..
4. ada anak - Kuasa Allah dan nasib baik ada
5. Ada awek dan siap berkepit - tapi jantan malatop lalu - aksi spontan mcm list di atas no 8...sila semak
6. tk suka pondan - sebab hakikat mereka lebih pondan atas katil...kenyataan tu!!!!
7.tak suka si lembut - sebab jealous nak keluarkan kelembutan diri tk boleh terlalu lagak macho

betul ke??? yg sedihnye budak nie melayu...aku rasa sayu sgt bila bc post dia nie...
seyesly....rasa sedih....

KEHILANGAN

2010-07-10T03:41:00.002+08:00

YA ALLAH, SESUNGGUHNYA KAU MAHA PENGASIH, LAGI MAHA PENYAYANG, KAU MAHA MENGETAHUI DAN KAU JUGA MAHA AGUNG. YA ALLAH, LAKUKANLAH YANG TERBAIK BAGI GURUKU PUAN FATIMAH MUSTAFA. DIALAH PEMBIMBING KU, DIA LAH IBU KU. DIA ORG LUAR YANG PERTAMA YANG MENGAMBIL BERAT AKAN DIRIKU, CUBA MENJADIKAN AKU SEORANG INSAN YANG KAU REDHAI YA ALLAH. KPD KAU AKU MEMOHON, KPD KAULAH AKU BERSERAH.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - -

Aku bermula sebagai seorang yang ego, degil, keras kepala, tomboy, dan seorang pendendam. Aku jarang bergaul dengan rakan2 sewaktu di skolah dulu. I have only several close friends. I hated school and I hated mostly everyone there. Tiada sape yg berani menegurku, terutamanya rakan2 setingkatan dek wajahku yang garang. Tapi aku tak kesah sbb aku tak memerlukan mereka dlm hidup ke. That's when i was wrong.

When I was in form 4 she taught me in class. I couldnt care less. To me she was just another teacher. But when I went to form 5, she started punishing me even for little2 things. Dia pernah membuat ku berdiri di dalam kelas sepanjang sesi pembelajaran and lots more. Pada waktu itu aku berdendam kerana padaku dia hanya cuba untuk memalukan aku di hadapan rakan2 kelas ku. Until one day when she called me to her office. That was when she explained everything.

She said that, she understood me. And that she wanted to help me. She counseled me, gave me advice and made me what I am now, a human being. She showed her concern when I least expected it. She took care of me when I thought that life is very cruel towards me. She told me that I have to learn to love myself before I can learn to love anyone...she taught me a lot, especially lessons about life.

I am a changed person now because of her. I learn to care about others because of her. I learn to teach others because of her. She gave me so much. She made me a happier person. She made me a better person.

Ya Allah sesungguhnya jika kini adalah masanya untuk pergi...KAU permudahkanlah ya Allah...dia adalah tempat aku mengadu...tempat aku mencurah rasa...dia umpama ibu yang tidak pernah lokek kasih sayangnya...Ya Allah sesungguhnya tidak mudah untuk aku menerima kehilangan demi kehilangan ya Allah... menda yang paling aku takuti adalah ditinggalkan...tapi KAU duga ku dengan kehilangan baik yang kekal atau sementara...hati ini tidak cukup kuat untuk menghadapi segala...lalu air mata adalah peneman setia ku kebelakangan ini..

Minta Maaf

2010-07-07T14:59:00.002+08:00

Buat mereka yang telah mencuba...

Terima kasih, jasa anda sangat dihargai...

Sy bukan diktator...saya tau sesetgh org tak mempunyai daya sgt...

Tak reti nak buat mcm ni, so dia bg effort dia dgn cara laen...

Stiap org ada cara masing2...so sape yang dah buat, dah berusaha...

Sy ucapkan tahniah dan terima kasih...

Harap anda jangan terasa...

AKU KESAL!!!!

2010-07-07T13:59:00.002+08:00

nak tau kesal dengan sape??

AKU KESAL DENGAN BUDAK-BUDAK ANGKLUNG!!!!!!

Sape nak terasa...aku minta maaf siap2...ampun dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki...tapi aku bukan lagi wahida yang akan diam dan pendam je apa yang aku rasa...aku bukan lagi budak yang takut dengan risiko atau apa yang orang laen bakal perkatakan...dan aku juga tak kesah if ada yang nak benci aku atau nak mengata aku...sbb dalam hal ni, aku tau aku betul...

First and foremost...post ini tidak mengabaikan senior2 yg laen sbb smua dah maenkan part masing2 and smua ada contribution masing2...tapi sesungguhnya ini rasa geram aku, so aku akan cakap apa yang aku tau, if ada info yang salah, i stand corrected...

Second, aku tak kecik hati dengan remarks yang dilemparkan junior2 setelah mereka disembur oleh aku malam semalam...sebaliknya aku geram sebab: (baca satu2, and fahamkan)

Bukan duit korang beli angklung2 tu semua, itu harta universiti, prihatin la sket. Sekali pun rasa universiti tu cekik darah suruh korg byr mende tu mende nih, tapi itu takde kena mengena dgn angklung. besok2 dah rosak, ingat petik jari bleh dapat baru ke???
Nak dapat angklung tu pun bukan senang, dah dekat 6 tahun lebih baru dapat set baru tuh, tu pun dengan tak maen arumba2 sgala pun dah ada yang pecah. sedih tgk kot, mende tu tersadai je.
Aku bagai nak mampus naik turun s-dev tu dulu buat proposal nak beli set baru tuh. Tahan kena maki kena kutuk dengan kelab laen, bodek officer lah apa lah sbb aku slalu ke sdev tuh.
Aku buat kerja2 officer (padahal time tu still student and tak keje dekat sdev pun lagi) sbb officer bz, lillah sebab aku nak tgk impian dapat angklung baru tu tercapai.
Memusing merata segenap pelusuk KL nih sbb s-dev letak syarat nak at least 3 quotation angklung from kedai2 berbeza. Siot! Brp kedai la sgt ada dekat KL nih nak cari pun. Takpe, sesat2 pun pi cari gak mana je org kata ada kedai.
Tanya lah sape2 pun, brp org je yg pernah tgk proposal nak beli alat-alat muzik. Tanyalah officer yg ada skrg, masa dia 1st masuk s-dev sape yg terpaksa edit and pahamkan procurement proposal application tu, padahal tak tau mende pun.
Tanya sape senior yang kejenya dok gam angklung tak habes2 sebab nak maintain angklung tu bagi elok je. Minyakkan sentiasa sebab nak bg tahan lama.
Tanya sape plak yang sanggup stay back sampai mlm, berjaya, tidur dlm bilik angklung, buat mission impossible tak hingat semata-mata nak ada lagu baru, semata-mata nak bg naik nama angklung, semata-mata nak semua org hepi ada lagu baru and tak boring asyik maen lagu lama.
Tanya sape lagi yang sanggup berendam air mata sebab nak bagi nama kelab naik.
Tanya sape yang sanggup turun jawatan, hanya dengan harapan nak org nampak yang angklung sentiasa laen drpd laen, tak berkira, tak berpuak-puak dan sanggup menerima cabaran untuk kenaikan kelabnya..

Aku bukan nak mengungkit....jauh sekali nak mengharap acknowledgment from korang. Aku tak ingin pangkat, aku tak ingin nama untuk diri sendri. Nama aku sendri pun dah cukup hebat. Aku bukan nak riak...

Cuma apa yang aku harapkan, is that u people show more effort. bukan effort utk bermain angklung semata. effort untuk menghargai segala usaha yang dah dibuat sebelum nih. Kesenangan yg korg nampak sekarang, adalah hasil hempas pulas ramai org sebelum anda. DEI!!! PIKIAQ la sket. Otak tuhan bagi, adakan?? so gunalah...

Mmg la ngkau kena marah free2 walau itu bukan angklung yang kau maen, tapi dah sah2 kaki ngkau yang atas angklung tuh kot!!! kaki kau yg pijak angklung tuh!!! Bodoh ke hape... itu pun nak kena ajar ke...mmg bukan angklung tu yg kau maen, tapi itu tetap sebijik angklung kan!!! apsal klu bukan angklung tu yang kau maen, so bleh la pijak bg patah??? macam tu ke??? pakai otak la...sama2 jaga angklung2 tu tak boleh ke??

Berapa puluh ramai yang ada dekat situ... sebijik demi sebijik angklung org terpijak lah tersepak lah tertendanglah jatuh lah...sorg pun takde ingatan nak angkat angklung2 tuh and susun dekat tepi...nak tggu org laen yg bukan ahli kelab angklung sebut, br nak ingat. malulah sket, org laen reti hargai alat muzik korg, yg korg???? attitude takle pakai nih, mmg akan buat angklung jatuh balik. alat muzik sndiri takle hargai, apa lagi nak hargai alat muzik laen. mmg bukan jiwa seni, mmg tak reti adat, mmg takle pakai.

AMBIK BERAT SKET!!! COLLECTIVE EFFORT!!! NI TAK, TAU NAK JAGA GLEMOUR DIRI SENDIRI JE!! HELLO, ANGKLUNG IS A TEAM EFFORT OK!!! JANGAN BADGET NAK GLEMOUR DENGAN MAIN ALAT MUZIK. MAEN ALAT MUZIK BUKAN PLATFORM UTK PUBLISITI DIRI SENDRI. HANCUR BERDERAI ALAT TU, HABUK PUN TAK DAK NAK MAEN. PAHAM SKET MISI DAN VISI KELAB. ITU PUN IF KORG STILL TAU APA VISI DAN MISI KELAB.

Pelik...Weird...

2010-07-07T13:28:00.000+08:00

Setelah sekian lama, akhirnya aku menerima pelawaan rakan2 untuk turut serta dalam sebuah program kebudayaan. Rindu rasanya untuk bersama dengan semua dan bergelak ketawa bagai tiada apa yang membelengu jiwa. Tapi dua malam sepanjang persiapan untuk program tersebut aku rasakan sangat pelik dan meruntun perasaan. Aku tidak tau dia berada di sana.

I thought I was ok. I thought I have passed that stage where I might freak out and be stunned, not able to move a muscle. But I was wrong, I was definitely wrong. When I found out that he was there, I panicked. It's not that I made any mistake towards him or anything. None of what happened was my fault. It was just that I froze. I couldn't and wasn't able to face him and feel all those emotional turmoil again. Not now, not when I finally feel that I was getting better, that I was healing.

They told me that he too was searching. He was looking around the hall, at every single faces. As if he was searching for someone. I don't know if that's true. But I couldn't bear to be near him now, after all that has happened. I know that he too was keeping a distance. He was also trying to keep the atmosphere neutral. He stayed amongst his friends and I stayed amongst mine. Pelik rasanya...macam budak2 pun ada gak...macam maen sembunyi2...ntah la...

None of us talk to each other throughout the night. What's funny is that, we sms'd before the show. And yet we fail to acknowledge each other that night. I don't know about him, but I even tried to not look at him at all. But obviously, I failed. I sneaked peeks at him and whenever I thought he's not looking. Don't get me wrong, but I believe that he did the same thing.

After the show, the only form of acknowledgment of each others presence was a moment of eye contact that we shared. In a split second before each of us retreated our gazes. That one moment and last moment. It felt weird. It felt final. Thus, I had a splitting headache right after that. I don't know why.

The truth is that, I missed him, terribly. As a friend...as a brother...as somebody that I could always confide in...as somebody that I would be myself when I am around him...

LOVE ETHUSIAST

2010-06-21T16:29:00.002+08:00

This is what I got for a quiz that I took...

"You are fanatic towards love! Basically your attitude towards love is affective. When you think that the other side is treating you nice, you would wholeheartedly treat him very nice too. With everything he/she proposes, you would definitely say YES! You are willing to share everything with him/her. Give you an advice. Love is not a fair game. What you give would not be that same as what you get in return. Therefore, don't take love too serious. You need a love consultant, no matter your friends and family members. They can give you more objective recommendations."

What is sad...is the part where it said, 'Love is not a fair game and dont take love serious....'

If I do that then I would be like any other ppl out there. Who plays with people's heart and yet they say they do it, in the name of love. What effected me was that, the analysis from the quiz is somewhat 95% true. The one not so true part would be that I WON'T be willing to share just about everything with him. Mana bleh, tak halal lagi beb...hahaha....

Yes, I am sceptical about people that I meet...and I dont get close to people that easily....people might think that I can get close to people easily because they think I can communicate well, be friendly, plaster a smile everyday...but that doesn't mean that I am attached to that person. Being close to somebody, for me, would be to be able to simply be myself...say what I think and I dont have to pretend to be something that I am not... and not many people I can do this with...well mostly they are girls...except one...

Nukilan Hati

2010-06-18T14:03:00.003+08:00

Nota untuk seorang lelaki yang pernah bertaktha di hati...

Saya telah mengembara ke hujung dunia, mencari cinta saya. Tapi pertama kali bertemu awak, hati saya terus terpaut, walaupun saya tidak sedar... Demi tuhan, saya tak tahu kenapa. Tapi itulah kebenarannya..

Awak mencabar saya dengan keprihatinan awak. Sedangkan saya telah membuat janji pada diri sendiri untuk tidak terlalu menyayangi insan bernama lelaki. Hanya dengan sebuah renungan, saya jatuh tersungkur ke penjuru mata awak.... saya tak dapat membohongi perasaan saya bahawa saya menyayangi awak..

Dan saat saya mula mencintai awak, saya jatuh ke dasar perasaan yg paling dalam... Lemas dan hampir tenggelam... dalam lautan kasih sayang, seribu impian, dan saya mula terpikir, saya mengembara ke hujung dunia, mencari awak, rupanya awak ada di sisi saya selama ini dan baru saya sedari tika dan saat itu...

Bagai merpati putih cinta saya berkelana mencari singgahsana di hati awak... nyata saya tak temuinya..... Tapi akhirnya, bila awak telah memiliki cinta saya... awak mencampakkannya jauh ke dasar laut yg tak mampu saya selam.... disana saya tak mampu melihat cahaya.. Awak beri saya harapan, dan akhirnya awak jugalah yg menyalakan api dan membakar saya dalam diam...

Saya sedih sangat, bila awak kata awak tak tahu apa yg sebenarnya awak cari....saya rasa kehilangan bila awak kata kita tak setaraf dan tak rasi bersama.... Tapi jauh disudut hati ini, saya merasakan awak masih belum cukup dewasa untuk memahami apa itu cinta dan mungkin tak akan pernah dewasa..... Atau mungkin juga.. awak belum pernah benar2 jatuh cinta pada seseorang... Jadi, selama ini siapa saya dihati awak...????

Adakah selama ini awak sebenarnya tidak pernah menyintai saya?

Siapa yg memujuk saya untuk membuka pintu hati?

Siapa yg meyakinkan saya bahawa bukan semua lelaki durjana, bukan semua lelaki serupa?

Siapa yg mengajar saya,bahawa Cinta itu perlukan pengorbanan?

Siapa yg memberitahu saya agar sentiasa jujur pada perasaan sendiri??

awak.....

Awak mungkin jenis lelaki yg boleh menyintai ramai perempuan berkali-kali. Tapi saya pula seorang perempuan yg percaya bahawa dalam hidup saya hanya ada 1 lelaki, 1 cinta dan 1 perkhawinan....

Kita hidup sekali, mati sekali dan menyintai sekali.......

Melangkah jauh daripada awak, telah mengambil seluruh kekuatan yg saya ada. Jangan anggap saya merelakan perpisahan ini kerana saya bencikan awak. Jangan pernah menganggap..

Bagaimana harus saya bencikan awak, sedangkan setiap hari, saya merindui awak, biarpun pada ketika awak berada disisi saya... setiap saat saya mengingati awak... seumur hidup ini saya mencintai awak...

Awak...

Sebelum saya menghilang dari dunia awak, saya ingin menyatakan sesuatu, yang tak pernah awak tahu. Kalaulah awak bertanya pada saya, sedalam mana saya cintakan awak, inilah jawapan saya....

'Kalau suatu hari, awak kehilangan suara, saya akan memberi suara saya, agar awak dapat bersuara semula. Meskipun waktu itu, saya akan bisu buat selamanya....'

'Dan kalau suatu hari awak kehilangan hati, saya akan memberi hati saya agar awak dapat hidup untuk selama-lamanya, Meskipun waktu itu saya tiada lagi di dunia ini...(awak tak pernah tahu).

Semuanya untuk awak, tapi satu jer.. yg tidak akan awak dapat dari saya sebelum awak menikahi saya....

Seseorang pernah berkata,

'If you really love someone, then let that person go. If that person is meant for you, that person will come back to you eventually. But if that person does not, then that person was never meant for you, in the first place.....'

Awak.......

Kerana saya mencintai awaklah saya merelakan perpisahan ini, demi kebahagiaan awak.... saya berdoa supaya suatu hari nanti, awak akan temui apa yg awak cari.... Supaya suatu hari nanti awak akan memahami apa erti cinta yang sebenar... supaya suatu hari nanti, awak akan dapat mengetahui, bagaimana rasanya terlalu amat mencintai seseorang.... dan semoga awak takkan pernah terlewat untuk menghargainya.....

Awak.....

saya percaya pada tuhan yg mempertemukan kita, saya tahu ada hikmah disebalik semua ini.... dan saya tak akan menyoal... saya juga tak pernah kesal.... sekurang-kurangnya sepanjang mengenali awak, saya telah bersikap ikhlas dan jujur dengan perasaan saya.....saya telah mengenali apa itu cinta......

Saya juga percaya, andai benar kita punya jodoh, awak akan kembali pada saya.... itu bukan harapan saya... itu dia saya....tapi saya ingin belajar untuk pasrah pada ketentuan tuhan... Dan kalaupun awak takkan pernah kembali pada saya, saya percaya, mungkin itu yg terbaik...

Saya harap suatu hari awak akan dapat baca nukilan ini...

Terima Kasih di atas segalanya....

Apa Ada Pada Nama

2010-02-08T12:27:00.004+08:00

RAJA
R	Ramah
A	Amanah
J	Jujur
A	Alim
Apa ada pada nama?

Jika difikir...apa ada pada nama yang menyebabkan ramai terpedaya...

Apa ada pada nama sehingga ramai yg menyanjung dan tergila-gila...

Apa ada pada nama sehingga seorang insan itu hilang nilai diri yang sebenarnya...

NURWAHIDA
N	Naif
U	Untung
R	Ramah
W	Warak
A	Amanah
H	Harum
I	Ikhlas
D	Dinamik
A	Alim
Apa ada pada nama?

...Tapi

...Bukankah nama itu suatu doa seperti mana yang telah dijanjikanNYa

...Bukankah panggilan yang baik-baik mampu memupuk sahsiah yang terpuji

ADLEEN
A	Amanah
D	Dinamik
L	Lemah-lembut
E	Emosional
E	Egoistik
N	Naif
Apa ada pada nama?

Nama mencerminkan peribadi diri...

Nama dapat memupuk keperibadian seseorang muslim...

Nama merupakan doa yang diterima, diminta untuk kita tiap-tiap hari...

...Namun

...Ramai yang gagal menyedari hakikat ini

...Ramai yang gila glamour dan kemasyuran sementara bernama glory

My Birthday - Last year hehe

2010-01-18T15:43:00.008+08:00

Wow it has been quiet a while since I last updated my blog.

Well, to start of, I thot of writing some simple posts and updates on my life. Well as you can see, on the left is my birthday cake, which my friends (from the office) had suprised me with.

It was a lovely cake, courtesy of 'DE HEART ONLINE KITCHEN. You can check the blog if you want to. The cupcakes and cakes made are very pretty indeed and at an affordable price. Be it with buttercream frosting, chocolate ganache or even fondant finishing, ur cake or cupcake will simply be beautiful. My cake was a vanilla choc chip )i think) with buttercream frosting.

Excuse the writings on it...that can be credited to a friend of mine who is also my junior from school, Saadah ribena, because she is very hyper active and childish. Ha, dgr tu saad....childish ok. huhuhu.... Well, anywaiz, it was a nice birthday suprise. They took me out to Pizza Hut during our lunch break and saad came with another friend bringing the cake. Then we all had a splendid lunch together.

That was when another friend who is the boss's PA, told me that my dad (the Boss) was the one who gave them the money for the whole suprise celeb. I was shocked and delighted at first, but as we move on throughout the day, some thoughts begin to crept into my head.

Its was ok to know that your father actually asked ur friends to buy u something but what's sad is that, my friend, the PA, needs to first remind my father that it was my birthday. And he even gave her money to go buy a card to be given to me. And they say its the thot that counts....well, i dunno....

Shut Down - Power Failure

2009-09-28T11:35:00.001+08:00

What happens when you feel that life is better off when u r alone...

What happens when you feel that u have no one to talk to...

What happens when you feel that you can't talk to the person who understands u most...

What happens when you feel that you are alone...

What happens when you feel that you dont know how to live by urself anymore...

What happens when you feel that you cant cry to the person who u depend on the most...

What happens when you feel that you want to shut urself from the world...

What happens when you feel that having a fake smile plastered is easier that dealing with everything else...

What happens when you feel that your joyful laughter and most sincere smile is forever gone...

What happens when you feel that you...

Do not feel anything at all...

I think I'm sick...
I have bruises all over my body...
Dont know how i got them...
Cepat je lebam sana sini...
Weird...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

2009-09-18T11:59:00.000+08:00

KEPADA SEMUA KAUM KELUARGA, SAHABAT HANDAL,

TEMAN-TEMAN, KAKAK-KAKAK, ADIK-ADIK,

ABANG-ABANG SEKALIAN...

DI SINI SAYA / WAHIDA/ IDA / AKAK / ADIK

INGIN MENGUCAPKAN

......SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN......

.....DARI HUJUNG RAMBUT SAMPAI HUJUNG RAMBUT KAKI.....

.....DI ATAS SEBARANG KETELANJURAN KATA.....

......TERKASAR BAHASA......

......TERMAKAN TERMINUM.....

......TERLUPA TERABAIKAN......

.....SEMOGA RAYA PADA TAHUN INI.....

.....MEMBAWA KEBERKATAN DAN KEINSAFAN KEPADA KITA SEMUA.....

3 Different Meanings to My Life (c)

2009-09-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

Emilia - Big Big World

I'm a big big girl

In a big big world

It's not a big big thing if u leave me

But I do do feel

That I do do will

Miss u much Miss u much

I can see the first leafs falling

It's all yellow and nice

It's so very cold outside

Like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl

In a big big world

It's not a big big thing if u leave me

But I do do feel

That I do do will

Miss u much Miss u much

Outside it's no raining

And tears are falling from my eyes

Why did it have to happen

Why did it all have to end

I'm a big big girl

In a big big world

It's not a big big thing if u leave me

But I do do feel

That I do do will

Miss u much Miss u much

I have your arms around me

Warm like fire

But when I open my eyes......

Your gone

I'm a big big girl

In a big big world

It's not a big big thing if u leave me

But I do do feel

That I do do will

Miss u much

I'm a big big girl

In a big big world

It's not a big big thing

If u leave me

But I do Feel I will

Miss u much miss u much

3 Different Meanings to My Life (b)

2009-09-18T11:37:00.000+08:00

Kenangan Terindah by Samsons

Aku yang lemah tanpamu

Aku yang rentan karena

Cinta yang t'lah hilang

Darimu yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka

Sampai jantung tak berdetak

Selama itu pun aku mampu

Untuk mengenangmu

Darimu kutemukan hidupku

Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku

Adalah yang terbaik untukmu

Kan kujadikan kau

Kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku

Namun takkan mudah bagiku

Meninggalkan jejak hidupku

Yang t'lah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Darimu kutemukan hidupku

Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati

3 Different Meanings to My Life (a)

2009-09-18T11:19:00.000+08:00

Colbie Caillat - Fallin’ For You

I don’t know but

I think I maybe

Fallin’ for you

Dropping so quickly

Maybe I should

Keep this to myself

Waiting ’til I Know you better

I am trying

Not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life and now I found ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here

And you hold my hand

Pull me towards you

And we start to dance

All around us

I see nobody

Here in silence

It’s just you and me

I’m trying

Not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

and now I found ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

Oh I just can’t take it

My heart is racing

The emotions keep spinning out

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

and now I found ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

I can’t stop thinking about it

I want you all around me

And now I just can’t hide it

I think I’m fallin’ for you (x2)

I’m fallin’ for you
OoohhhOh no noOooooohhhOh I’m fallin’ for you

Over Indulging

2009-09-18T09:19:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah...camne nak buat nih...

I was so confident that I could do it...tapi tak menjadi...

How am i supposed to get rid of this habit...

Bila tensen je...melantak tak hingat donia...

Bila sedih je mula la membeli makanan tak hingat2...

Dah la metabolism rate badan rendah...

Lambat memburn away the fat...

So bila dok over indulging camne la nak kurus...

I know I can do it tapi dgn all the tension thats going on lately...

Tak menjadi...frust sgt dgn diri sendiri...

I used to be very in control of my life...

I used to be very independant...

Used to be able to limit myself...

Help...i dont want over indulge myself with food...

I want to be healthy and refine...

I want to be fit and active...

I want to look nice and pretty...

Penat dan sedih bila nak beli baju takde saiz

Sayu tgk org shopping baju mcm2 design tapi baju size besar design mcm hampeh

Kecik hati bila selalu dijadikan bahan lawak jenaka org...

Abg tlg ida...

Tensennyer!!!!

NOTHING

2009-08-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

I dunno what to say...

I feel lost...

I feel as if I have burdened everyone...

I feel as if I'm worthless...

I feel as if I'm only trouble to everyone...

I feel as if everyone is better off without me in their lives...

I feel as if I am only a bearer of sadness...

I feel as if I make everyone feel obliged to be responsible towards me...

I feel as if it should have been me...

I feel as if its better that I just vanish...

I feel as if its better that I just let go off everyone...

I feel as if its better that nobody knows me...

I feel as if its better that no one gets close to me...

I feel as if its better that I don't exist in anyone's life...

I don't want anyone else to be hurt because of me...

I don't want anyone to feel responsible for something because of me...

I don't want anyone to go through hardship because of me...

I want everyone else to be happy...

I want everyone else to be safe...

I want everyone else to be the best that they can be...

I don't want to be in the way...

NEW WORK...NEW LIFE...NEW EXPERIENCE

2009-07-24T09:31:00.000+08:00

rasa macam sudah lamanya tak menulis blog ini...

nak buat camne, gue menulis bukan untuk meng'update' about aktiviti harian...i mean, whats fun to know about what ordinary things that u do all day...and so i write when there is something worth to write and discuss...

21 JULY 2009

Was officially my first interview for work...the interview was ok and so i got the job... Project Executive of My E.G Services Berhad. Thrilled, excited and happy (i guess)...

22 JULY 2009

Was my last day as a staff working for the culture and arts unit of IIUM. Sad, yes...happy, a bit... Got off from work at 9pm or so...finish up some last minute unsettled jobs etc...reminiscing on the good ol times....haha

23 JULY 2009

Was my 1st day at the new office...awkward, yes....scared, no. Guess everything was ok. luckily i had my friend with me. a lot to learn n so little time. the job is ok except for the many technical things that we have to memorize...dah kata keje dgn e-government...bnyk procedure2 kena tau la...baru first day keje dah dpt jadual roadtour utk My E.G...ada exhibition around Malaysia...

So here goes:

Kuching Waterfront (26 July - 3 Aug 2009) - kena pergi

Star Parade, Kedah (31 July - 3 Aug 2009)

Setiu, Tganu (9 Aug - 11 Aug 2009) - kena pergi

Pagoh Sport Cmplx, Jhr (30 July - 3 Aug 2009)

And i am involved with the one in Kuching and Tganu... balik semenanjung tak sampai seminggu dah kena g tganu plak...wah sakan la aku pasni... tapi balik2 tu kena masuk kerja...and ingatkan nak rehat2 jap ari sabtu...tiba2...

8 Aug 2009 - Kenduri Cukur jambul k.aja...

and to make things much more complicated....semalam baru tau

8 Aug 2009 (gak) - Interview PTD...adeh la

Waduh...

24 JULY 2009

Fenin nak adjust schedule...dah tau kepentingan adanya planner...kalau tak plan btol2...niaya je jawabnya...

Short Stories (Really Short)

2009-06-23T19:05:00.000+08:00

Read yanna's post last week....(i think)

Liked the post on writing short stories using only 6 words...

Precise and concise...

So, I wanna try...

See if i can get the words right...

Here goes...

on LIFE

Life sucks. Take it. Leave it.

on WORK

The boss, bossy. The staff, missing.

on FINANCIAL

Money is vital. Don't have any.

on LOVE

Its troubling. Yet you want it.

on MARRIAGE

Its an institution. Solid hard.

on FRIENDSHIP

Friendship blossoms like flower. Ever beautiful.

on PROBLEMS

Problems are like a river. Neverending.

on DREAMS

Hit the road. Get your dream.

What They Didn't Tell Us...

2009-06-18T17:55:00.000+08:00

Have you ever heard of discourse analysis...well its a subject we have to take as a student...
Its a subject where they teach u that what ever we say can have another meaning...its something like double meaning where what u say have 2 different meanings whether u meant it or not... discourse analysis is when u say something but something else is implied...

I have often wondered what would be the use of that particular subject as i wont be in the teaching field...

And somehow, in this last few days...I have gotten my answer....its like an epiphany...a revelation...

Since this is a season for marriage as it is the school holidays...i learnt the use of discourse analysis when i tried to understand what is love...

When people are in love everything seems so beatifullllllllllllll...full of birds chirping...butterflies fluttering...flowers blossoming here and there...the skies are blue...the rainbows are nice... pendek kata...everything is just heavenly...

When u ask what is love...people would say that love is kind...love is happiness...love is having somebody there for u...love is what keeps u going.... (here comes the discourse analysis...........................)

BUT WHAT THEY DIDN'T TELL U IS THAT...

Love is not just that...its more than that...there's a lot of things that they didnt tell u...they just tell whats nice...
When they say that

Love is kind...another implied meaning is that....love is also cruel

Love is happiness...another implied meaning is that love is also sadness....

Love is having somebody there for u...would mean that u would have to be alone since he/she is not there for u....

and

Love is what keeps u going...yeah right...love is what also stops u from moving on...

Why didn't anyone tell us of all this???

U feel that u are dispirited if he/she is not around...
The terrible feeling of missing someone when he/she is not there...
The pain of anticipation and waiting...
The sadness when u know that he/she is sad and u cant do anything...
The helpless and hopeless feeling that u have when u cant be there...
The anxiousness...resahnye...tak senang duduk when u feel that something is a miss....

They didnt tell u all that...why....
Love is not all flowers and rainbows...
Its also not all colourful and beautiful...

Its ... just not what it seems...

Another Test...huhu

2009-03-16T16:35:00.001+08:00

Your Working Style

You are friendly, adaptable realists. You rely on what you see, hear, and know first-hand. You good-naturedly accept and use the facts around you. You look for a satisfying solution instead of trying to impose any "should" or "must" of your own. You are sure a satisfying solution will turn up once you have grasped all the facts.

You solve problems by being adaptable, and often can get other to adapt, too. People generally like you well enough to consider any compromise you suggest. You are unprejudiced open-minded, and tolerant of most everyone--including yourself. You take things as they are and thus may be very good at easing a tense situation and pulling conflicting factions together.

With your focus on the current situation and realistic acceptance of what exists, you can be a gifted problem solver. Because you are not necessarily bound by a need to follow standard procedures or preferred methods, you are often able to see ways of achieving a goal by "using" the existing rules, systems, or circumstances in new ways, rather than allowing them to be roadblocks.

You are actively curious about people, activities, food, objects, scenery, or anything new presented to your senses. Your expert abilities in using your senses may show in:

a continuous ability to see the need of the moment and turn easily to meet it
the ability to absorb, apply and remember great numbers of facts
an artistic taste and judgement
the handling of tools and materials

You make your decisions by using the personal values of feeling rather than the logical analysis of thinking. Your feeling makes you tactful, sympathetic, interested in people, and especially good at handling human contacts. You may be too easy in matters of discipline. You learn far more from first-hand experience than from books, and do better in actual situations than on written tests. Abstract ideas and theories are not likely to be trusted by you until you have been tested in experience. You may have to work harder than other people to achieve in school, but can do so when you see the relevance.

You do best in careers needing realism, action, and adaptability. Examples are health services, sales, design, transportation, entertainment, secretarial or office work, food service, supervising work groups, machine operation, and many kinds of troubleshooting.

You are strong in the art of living. You get a lot of fun out of life, which makes you good company. You enjoy your material possessions and take the time to acquire you. You find much enjoyment in good food, clothes, music, and art. You enjoy physical exercise and sports, and usually are good at these.

How effective you are depends on how much judgment you acquire. You may need to develop your feeling so that they can use your values to provide standards for your behavior, and direction and purpose in your lives. If your judgment is not developed enough to give you any character or stick-to-it-iveness, you are in danger of adapting mainly to your own love of a good time.

I Wanted To Know Myself....

2009-03-16T16:00:00.000+08:00

I took the "What Does Your Birthday Says About You" quiz dekat facebook...

Verdict (those who are born in october):

Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

I took the "Personality Quiz" at www.quizbox.com

Verdict:

Kind and Gentle Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

I took the "Know Your True Self" quiz at www.quizbox.com (seems really true...try it)

Verdict:

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing, just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I took the "What Does Being A Friend Really Means To You" quiz at www.quizbox.com

Verdict :

You value your friendships: 70%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

Hemmm......

PRE-MARRIAGE COURSE (28-29 MARCH 2009)

2009-03-16T15:51:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

PRE MARRIAGE COURSE

Date: 28^th and 29^th March 2009

Venue: Main Audi

Organized by: Student Development Division (S-Dev) in Collaboration with Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor

REGISTRATION

Registration Venue: S-Dev Main Office

Registration Fee: RM35.00 (to be paid before 25^th March 2009)

***(Including handout, refreshment and lifetime certificate from JAIS)

CONTACT PERSON:

Sr. Rusnani Din @ Yaakob / 03-61965474

Sr. Fazlina Abu Bakar / 03-61964000 (ext:3641)

Sr. Hazanariah Che Hamid 03-61964000 (ext:3635)

Br. Effendi Ismail 03-61964000 (ext:3633)

FIRST COME FIRST SERVE BASIS

*******GUE PROMOTE JER K!!!*********

Dilema Hidup...

2009-03-02T20:33:00.000+08:00

Apa nak buat sekarang....

Sangat tertekan kebelakangan ni...

Kerja yang dijanjikan tak dapat....alasannya konon dah blow budget so post yang di offer tak dapat nak diberikan.... so sekarang nih, nak disuruh jadi asst trainer plak...pagi keje partime admin, mlm plak jadi asst trainer.... hebatnya idup...alamatnya takde lifelah nanti kan...ptg mlm asyik keje je...

I know i can find better jobs tapi takut nak melangkah... camne nih?? i know i have the skills and attitude 2 work outside but i am not ready... i feel that i am still in need of my comfort zone... takutnya... ya allah, apa nak buat...

keje berclaim gaji nih payah...bukan tak bersyukur tapi dpt keje ptg n mlm 2 mmg cukup lenient time framenyer tapi bila claim by hour nih tak tentu bila bleh dapat paymentnya...kalau lambat, jenuh la hidup... sedangkan idup ni memerlukan duit utk diteruskan...

rasa kadang2 tu macam dah cukup berani utk teruskan melangkah ke dunia luar tapi kata2 org disekeliling membuatkan aku terhenti... ada yang berkata aku budak baik, tak mungkin bleh survive dlm dunia dekat luar tuh... ada yang kata aku ni lurus sgt, nanti culture shock klu dah keje... ada yang kata aku ni terlampau baik hati, nanti mesti kena pijak...

mmg kdg2 tu kita tak perlu fikir apa yg org kata....tapi at times apa yg org kata 2 ada hikmahnya, ada kebenarannya... hidup ni ada 4 cermin yg perlu kita take into account.

1-apa yg kita nampak n org pun nampak
2-apa yg kita nampak tp org tak nampak
3-apa yg kita tak nampak tp org nampak

lastly

4-apa yg kita n org pun tak nampak...ini berserah pada Allah la

so nak just dismiss apa yg org kata, maybe org 2 dah buat pemerhatian...and maybe kita yg tak kenal diri sendri...aduh...takutnya...maybe apa yg org kata 2 btol...aduh...

tapi klu tak beranikan diri n take the challenge, sampai bila baru nak bersediakan... tak kan la sampai bila2 nak bagi alasan sebab tak bersedia...

ya allah...kurniakanlah aku teman yg dapat bantu mengharungi hidup nih... yg dapat bimbing n beri tunjuk ajar dlm membuat keputusan... yg dpt memberi perlindungan dan sokongan dikala kesusahan...

rAiN ChEcK??

2009-01-28T18:33:00.000+08:00

So sahabat2...apa cer lately nih?? borink ? takde plan pa pe? apalagi...jom arr g meronggeng2 ke IB...g tgk teater ke concert ke pa pe...

FEBRUARY

6 - 21 feb 09 : Puteri Gunung Ledang

27 Feb - 1 mac 09 : Konsert Alam M.Nasir

MARCH

4 - 8 Mac 09 : Iruvar

9 - 22 Mac 09 : Sirah Junjungan (UIA terlibat!!!) the musical

24 Mac 09 : 24 hours Theatre

20 - 22 Mac 09 : KL Koleidoskop, Konsert Gala DiRaja

APRIL

3 - 5 Apr 09 : Mimpi Adaptasi Shakespeare

10 - 12 Apr 09 : Konsert Untukmu Wanita

17 - 19 Apr 09 : Unplugged Malaysia Band featuring OAG

apa lagi...mari la beramai2 weh...borink dah ni asyik dok dekat opis nih...

Tengah WENG...

2009-01-04T00:20:00.000+08:00

"Andaiku tiada, andaiku pejam mata
Biarku abadi, kasih yang setia ini
Biarpun kau jauh, sambutlah salamku..."

-tribute to alleycats

Details of ASEAN Univ Games 2008

2008-12-29T02:08:00.000+08:00

Hi guys...Assalamualaikum...hehe

Well...lets c...bengkel for AUG started 8hb tapi I did not attend on dat day since I just got back home on the 7th...the day before... so, utk mengelakkan diri menjadi anak derhaka sebab dah lama tak balik, daku pulang gak ke umah (walaupun sehari je) utk meraikan hari raya aidiladha....

I was officially there at 3pm on 9th of december...everything was just great...met the team...practiced some cheers and more cheers and more cheers...since IIUM will alwaiz be IIUM, we were (probably) the only team that practiced all the cheers...so, we became the back bone during the cheer workshop... some students from our team got elected as the lead kompang and the conductor master ...

gedebuk gedebak...dah setel smua...the launching took place on 11th of December 2008 while being telecasted live via TV1...hehe...it was fun n ok and everything...but the real work starts the day after...our first job was to cheer for the malaysian beach volleyball team...sounds fun?? although a bit embarassing because...yerla IIUM kot...so we swap with some other university...

the next day, we went to cheer for the malaysian volley ball team...it was ok...but i do think that our team could have performed better...but, guess luck was just not on our side... after that ended...we were given a new task...to cheer for the malaysia futsal team...which was just great...because they won the game.... we were again requested to cheer for them during the finals...which they won yet again....(n i got a chance to take a pic with the mascot)...

we were also given the task to cheer for the malaysian hockey team...it was superb...they won the game...later on we were given the task to cheer for them again during the finals...and they won, gold. its not just that...we also had "personal winners" whose main achievement was....the victory of being able to take photos on the hockey turf....

to be continued....

ASEAN University Games

2008-12-20T10:56:00.001+08:00

A long 2 weeks indeed for me...

However long...
However painful...
However tiring...

I had a lot of fun...because...

I have my friends with me...

Yup dear friends...you know who you are...
Yes, I'm talking about you...

Penat camne pun...tengok muka korang ati dah tenang...

Sori sgt if ada terkasar bahasa...
terasa ati...
termasam muka...
dan ter ter yg laen...

It was a great moment in life...

4 Days of ????

2008-12-06T01:25:00.001+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen....

pada 1-4hb lalu gue berada di UPM, Serdang menjalankan tugas kepada negara...ehem ehem...kepada unit je sbnrnya...dgn menjadi pegawai pengiring untuk Pertandingan Zapin MAKUM 2008...1st on field assignment...

rasanya gue did terribly sbb masih tak dapat nak cope dgn the working life...ntah la...I don't know...

rasa guilty and bersalah sgt dgn bebudak 2 semua sbb the 1st day I woke them up...but the rest of the days they had to wait for me and the other girls to get ready....rasa macam worthless jek...

wanted to be off help to them tapi rasanya mcm bnyk membebankan diaorg je...this working thing is pretty confusing at times...don't know why...

kadang2 rasa tertekan sbb yg kita supervise and handle 2 adalah kwn2 sendri...nak ckp pa pe mcm memerintah diaorg plak...apatah lagi kalau dalam dat group of people ada plak yg lebih tua drpd kita...tak keruan dibuatnya....nak cakap pun jadi serba salah... nak tegur tak tau camne...

tapi takpelah...yg penting I learnt a lot from them and from the programme...cumanya, nasib tak brapa menyebelahi kita sbb dapat no 4...and juri plak bg alasan2 yg rasanya bkn shj tak munasabah bahkan tak munasarawak jugak. well maybe nxt time...

anywaiz...congrats again to them... i enjoyed working with them...sronok sgt dpt tgk 18 univ persembahkan zapin masing2...suka UMP and UTM punya zapin jugak....

so...zapin dah abes...kena pikir AUG plak...majulah sukan untuk negara....end

KaLaH PM Ke??

2008-11-18T00:21:00.000+08:00

14th - 16th Nov 2008 = McLead (Kuala Lipis, Phg)

17th - 21st Nov 2008 = Preparation for programmes

22nd n 23rd Nov 08 = Break jap

24th - 28th Nov 2008 = Family thing

27th - 29th Nov 2008 = Training for ASEAN Univ Games

1st - 4th Dec 2008 = Festival Zapin MAKUM (supervising)

5th - 7th Dec 2008 = Rehat jap

8th - 21st Dec 2008 = ASEAN Univ Games (Bkt. Jalil)

Wow...ntah bila masanya nak rest kan...

Tapi, bukan sengaja nak memenatkan diri ke apa ke... there's a lot of new things that I learn actually...

Some people can be really scared of venturing into the real world...its not easy...I know... but what is worst is that...there are people who dont even realise that they are afraid of going into the real world....

Symptoms:
1-always wanting to be around ppl that u know and places that u r familiar with (comfort zone)
2-always wanting to be doing the same things that u've been doing before graduating
3-always melewat2kan process mencari kerja, umah sewa, etc
4-always finding others means or ways as an alternative for an escapism
5-when all fails, apa lagi...cabut balik kampung in the comfort of family....

Ways to overcome:
1-tak perlu nak cepat2 grow up...enuf with taking one step at a time
2-learn to accept reality
3-be open minded, listen to what others have to say...must not be afraid of asking for advice n help
4-admit your fears...talk to those who can help you...
5-plan ahead...."draft" your future...

Well, that is what I'm doing... I know i'm not perfect.... but at least...

I'm trying....hard....

?Apa sebenarnya yg aku tulis....??

2008-11-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

"There Is Always A First Time"

Stelah sekian lama mendengar kengkawan di sekelilingku bising hingaq bingaq pasai blogging....tak pernah sekali pun aku terpanggil utk join in...

Yerla, apa brg sgt keeping up a blog, takde kerje gue...

Tapi stelah lama berkecimpung dgn rakan2 dan adik2 dlm angklung....aku terpanggil dgn ayat yg takle blah drpd salah seorg junior angklung yg tak brapa glamour (tapi bdjet glamour...hehe) si emy....beliau berkata....

"Walaupun dah ada personal blog sendiri, tapi aku buat blog baru nih utk share dgn bebudak culture...." - unquote

After all, memories are to be treasured right??? So dgn itu, ujudlah blog ku ini.... walaupun tak seberapa....bleh la jadi laman utk berkongsi suka duka, riang tawa, hilai milai (oopppsss....jgn ada yg terasa plak) antara kita semua...

Tapi pada hakikatnya, daku sendiri tak tau samada dpt atau tidak diri ini hendak mengupdate dan mengkeepkan blog ini alive.... kalau idup...idup la....kalau tak....mati la. apa lagi kan....kuakuakua

सेतेलाह सेकियन लामा...

2008-11-17T02:33:00.000+08:00

" तेरे इस अल्वाय्स अ फर्स्ट तक"

Tak पेर्नाह अदा पेरास्सन नक् बात ब्लॉग वाल्हल दह रमई केंग्क्वं यग बेर्केसिम्पुंग दलम बिडंग पेम्ब्लोगन इनी...

तेतापी, अगक तेर्तारिक दगं कत२ सी एमी तुह... (वालौपुं दिया कुतुक हकु दलम ब्लॉग दिया!!!) बुदक २ काकाप दिया अदा गक पर्सनल ब्लॉग तापी बात ब्लॉग बरु सबब नक् शेयर दगं बेबुदक कल्तुरे... रसा काम मेनारिक्म्प्लक आयात तुह....

येर्ला, बिला दिकेनन्ग२ बलिक... मेमोरिएस अरे तो बे त्रेअसुरेड रिघ्त... सो अप लगी, दगं मलास्न्य, कु हेरत दीरी के सीसी दान मूल मेंजलांकन ओपेरासी मेम्बुअत ब्लॉग...

पस्तु ब्लेह पलक ग बात दलम हिन्दी.... हेहेहे....

गुयस, इ क्नोव ठाट आईटी इस अ दिफ्फेरेंत फीलिंग व्हेन दह नक् गरद.... ताकुत, गेम्बिरा, स्योक, सेमुआ अदा...

तापी रेमेम्बेर...नेवर फोरगेट थे फ्रिएंड्स ठाट वे'वे मेड एंड मेट अलोंग थे वे... विथौत थेम सिअपलाह किता....

सो, वेल्कोमे तो माय ब्लॉग... हरप२ डाकू राजिन ला नक् मेन्गेदित२ दान स्ब्ग्न्य.... kuakuakua